part 7
3. they latched onto that sad smile like it was all they had left. in some ways, it was. it's funny how sometimes we have to play act for the things we love: pretending through our tears that everything is the same. we do it for their sake, we say, to keep them going. but mostly we do it for ours. because when every last shred of dignity is invested in the maintenance of that one thing, we cannot afford to realize that we blinked a second too long and now everything is different. devastated, even. so we laugh too loud and talk too much and smile too wide to pretend away the obvious destruction of the thing we hold most dear. because when it finally is gone, there's nothing to do but start plotting out our own burial patches.
4. somehow, i have never loved an animal. or i can't remember back to a time when i did. and so the theory that animals were never expelled from nature, thus subject to a different type of love than humans, doesn't make sense to me. by any means, i still become angry when i'm trying to get our dog to pay attention to me instead of my brother. because i know the animal loves my brother more than me. it 's quite obvious we have a bad relationship. and so i have nothing to understand this unconditional and unassuming love by. i suppose God counts: i've never felt unloved by Him, or rejected, or neglected. i've never tried to change our relationship, or never had to prove to Him that i was good enough. the love of God is something that was definitely never expelled from the garden. instead, it transcends it. He didn't even stop loving eve when she bit that silly apple that shot us off on our straight course through all the unhappiness of all time. He simply shook his head and sighed and said, well, i guess you'll need my love more than ever now.
6. it must be terrible for her not to have anything else to hold on to. the trembling in her hands would now never stop. because she was finally alone in the world without anything but the thoughts running through her mind each day. and what horrifying thoughts they were, giving way to sadness, giving way to a grave drawn with her heel on the grass between two apple trees.
7. i dare say that this is what the end of books are supposed to be like. everything works out alright, they two star-crossed lovers get together, one says a great statement of truth and they drift off into the sunset together. i just never suspected it would be so easy for the two of them. but it was the end. as we know, after all this, they got into their car and just...finished. it seems such a striking contrast, an ironic and unfair loss of time. but of course, we always realize something profound and important when it's just about too late. it's difficult to figure out how to make the right choice until all the other ones have been eliminated, when you're slipped to the end of your rope and you finally learn to hold on, because you have no other choice. and then there's so little left to hold onto that it's impossible. we destroy all our best laid plans, our greatest loves, our deepest dreams that way. but it's alright. we smile and say, that's just what happens, better luck next time. our actions reverberate throughout the universe and effect planets two and three and thirty. but our soul breaks free from our body and we return to the idyll. and our bodies close our eyes and turn into particles, flying away, lighter than air.
3. they latched onto that sad smile like it was all they had left. in some ways, it was. it's funny how sometimes we have to play act for the things we love: pretending through our tears that everything is the same. we do it for their sake, we say, to keep them going. but mostly we do it for ours. because when every last shred of dignity is invested in the maintenance of that one thing, we cannot afford to realize that we blinked a second too long and now everything is different. devastated, even. so we laugh too loud and talk too much and smile too wide to pretend away the obvious destruction of the thing we hold most dear. because when it finally is gone, there's nothing to do but start plotting out our own burial patches.
4. somehow, i have never loved an animal. or i can't remember back to a time when i did. and so the theory that animals were never expelled from nature, thus subject to a different type of love than humans, doesn't make sense to me. by any means, i still become angry when i'm trying to get our dog to pay attention to me instead of my brother. because i know the animal loves my brother more than me. it 's quite obvious we have a bad relationship. and so i have nothing to understand this unconditional and unassuming love by. i suppose God counts: i've never felt unloved by Him, or rejected, or neglected. i've never tried to change our relationship, or never had to prove to Him that i was good enough. the love of God is something that was definitely never expelled from the garden. instead, it transcends it. He didn't even stop loving eve when she bit that silly apple that shot us off on our straight course through all the unhappiness of all time. He simply shook his head and sighed and said, well, i guess you'll need my love more than ever now.
6. it must be terrible for her not to have anything else to hold on to. the trembling in her hands would now never stop. because she was finally alone in the world without anything but the thoughts running through her mind each day. and what horrifying thoughts they were, giving way to sadness, giving way to a grave drawn with her heel on the grass between two apple trees.
7. i dare say that this is what the end of books are supposed to be like. everything works out alright, they two star-crossed lovers get together, one says a great statement of truth and they drift off into the sunset together. i just never suspected it would be so easy for the two of them. but it was the end. as we know, after all this, they got into their car and just...finished. it seems such a striking contrast, an ironic and unfair loss of time. but of course, we always realize something profound and important when it's just about too late. it's difficult to figure out how to make the right choice until all the other ones have been eliminated, when you're slipped to the end of your rope and you finally learn to hold on, because you have no other choice. and then there's so little left to hold onto that it's impossible. we destroy all our best laid plans, our greatest loves, our deepest dreams that way. but it's alright. we smile and say, that's just what happens, better luck next time. our actions reverberate throughout the universe and effect planets two and three and thirty. but our soul breaks free from our body and we return to the idyll. and our bodies close our eyes and turn into particles, flying away, lighter than air.
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